How I Moved from Under Ground Church to Public Church

My first 5 years Christian life was in an underground church of Beijing. The so called "underground churches" are those churches that are not willing to put themselves under the management of Chinese government. Practically and theologically, they believe that having any kind of relationship with government is not wise or right. They don't go to religious department of the local government to register. They also teach that public church is unclean and misled on the way of truth because they receive government management. They emphasise discipleship training and evangelizm. Citizenship and ethical life in society are not their focus. Salvation is their focus. They train believers to do overseas ministry, like to go to Arab area, as well as train believers to do minority people's ministries. They have wonderful work among university students. Nowadays, underground churches grow very fast and become very strong, they begin to seriously consider about their identity in Chinese society. Some of the leaders do not refuse registration any more, but Chinese government hasn't said yes to their registration applications. More than 90% support of western ministry organizations, persons and churches to Chinese churches go to the Chinese underground church. So they have more spiritual books which public church believers may never see in all their Christian life. Underground church believers have many kinds of Bible printing versions that public church believers never see, because missionaries are told that China has no Bible or not allowed to print Bible, so they carry many Bibles to China risking with their lives. Underground churches receive all kinds of teaching from overseas missionaries, while public church believers usually are taught only by their own Chinese ordained teachers and pastors. In the eyes of most western Christians, only underground church is pure, spiritual and faithful.

 

Chinese public church is stricter organized. Church leaders are all in the organization of different levels of Christian Councils. Provincial Christian Council will decide who can be ordained, and who need to be disciplined. Christian Councils finance receives auditing once a year, while church's finance is required to be opened. Public churches receive management from religious department of local government in the area of the law, not in the area of belief content.

 

I worked in Beijing for more than 5 years, 2 years was in the general office of an American international company. That was a Christian company. They not only did business, but also did so called "heavenly business". One day I was secretly called by a policeman from Beijing Police Bureau asking me about the personnel of this company. Then I knew they had noticed this company's illegal affairs. One week later, I told my boss that the policeman found me to check the company. "Gloria, are you a spy from the beginning you came to my company?" This was the question hovering in the mind of the boss from then on. By the end, of course soon I left the company. Since I had several sisters and brothers of underground church in that company, they suggested that I couldn't go to any underground church in Beijing, for I might have policeman tails.

 

From bottom of my heart, I took their suggestion. Not only I didn't go to any underground church later, but also I destroyed everything that might help police find my sisters and brothers in the underground churches. I tore my address book into pieces. The next Sunday, I had nowhere to go but I had to worship my God, so I went to a public church in Beijing. I heard the pastor pray for all underground church brothers and sisters. I took this as a sign that God hugged me in this church. Later on, I joined the youth choir of this church. Gradually I grow up in the public church system: serving in the church, going to study in seminaries, coming back to serve in local church, teaching in seminary. I was ordained as pastor on Dec. 23, 2007, eight years after I stepped into public church.

Amazing Training

July 12-August 7, 2009, 98 teachers from China’s main religious schools, including Buddhism colleges, Taoism colleges, Islam colleges, Catholic seminaries and Christian seminaries and from several provincial religious bureaus gathered together in Beijing Normal University. We had 4 weeks pedagogy training. This was an amazing training.

Amazing 1: different religions, close communications. In the day time, we were in one classroom listening to the lectures on different topics of pedagogy. At the night, we had dialogues focus on different religion by turns. We even had a party one night, every religion showed its own characteristic programs. Christians sang hymns. Protestant sang Amazing Grace and catholic priests sang it with us. Priests sang a popular Chinese worship song “In Love We Gathered”, pastors sang with them. Taoist performed Tai Chi and taught us how to live a longer life as well as how to keep young. A very famous imam sang Alcoran. It really liked a Soul. Islamite danced in Sinkiang music also. Another imam sang an Arab song in three different melodies. Buddhists sang together with the sound of woodblock and bell. A Buddhist nun sang a very sorrow song of mourning people’s death. It greatly shocked everyone, for the song directly came out of her spirit. 
Amazing 2: State Administration of Religious Affairs was the one who offered this training. They paid everything during our stay in Beijing Normal University. Have you ever heard such a good government? This kind of class might be very rare in the whole world as I thought.
Amazing 3: Pedagogy knowledge was abundant. We learned how to design a course, how to evaluate teachers, how to create evaluation forms, and what pedagogy is about, etc. all together 36 subjects! It proved to be quite useful for us. Professors were excellent in guiding us on learning and discussions. Most classes were interesting and fruitful.
After coming back from this training, I bought some books that professor recommended. I am going to study it and not only apply the principles into my own teaching but also train other teachers in our school to make classing teaching more efficient. I also begin to record in my Chinese blog the progress and the improvement that I have achieved in my work and self study, sharing with those of my classmates. I feel that from now on I will play better and better in my role as a teacher.

How I came to the Lord

I was born in a family of intellectuals. Both my father and my mother graduated from universities. My father worked in a medical college which later became a part of the local university. I grew up in an atmosphere which put study in a high position.

Beside study, my family has another tradition: sports. We had a homemade Ping-Pong table. My father kept every year’s short-distance race champion among all the teachers and professors of his college. They had a husband-and-wife 100 meter relay race. No matter how far my mother fell behind, my father could catch up and finally got champion. My mother is good at volleyball and so am I. I was both Women’s Volleyball Team member and Women’s Basketball Team member in university. My brother played basketball every afternoon with his fellows and their court was called “Colosseum”, for he and his fellows are the best basketball players in the city and their game is always white-hot. My brother had three times got his leg fractured in a basketball match. Each time he had to lie in the bed for several days and his friends keep coming to visit him.

I went directly into Hunan University without the entrance examination. This was very unusual; a big university with thousands of students did not have more than 10 students that were allowed to enter University without an entrance exam. It was a reward for my excellent performance both in study and sports in high school. I chose the major of Highway and Bridges Design in Civil Engineering. But this was the beginning of my hardship. I was an idiot in mechanics. Hydromechanics, structural mechanics, soil mechanics and elastic mechanics made me despair. I began to have inner pain from the struggle of trying to be the best. I failed and I couldn’t face it. Neither did I know how to change my unlucky fate.

A friend of mine came to the Lord and he shared the gospel with me. He gave me his testimony and brought me to different Christian fellowships. I kept arguing with those Christians. I had no god in my heart. If I had, that might have been my father and mother. I began to read some little gospel brochures, the ones with interesting pictures and a few words. Finally I got to know that Christians thought there was a God who loved them and this God became Jesus, who died for all human being’s sin on the cross.
“For He so loved the world”, I read one day, then I though in my heart, if there was really a God and He loved me, He should come to look for me, for I didn’t know where to find Him.

Then this God came to look for me. On August 17, 1994, that night I was sleeping in my bed in my dorm of Hunan University thinking through my life: I even have no goal, everybody goes to tomb; no standard of being a good person; success couldn’t make up the wrong thing I have done. I recognized I had done a lot of wrong things! I felt my heart was heavy. I wanted to have a new start, but how? I knew my life was burning and one day it would come an end, but for what purpose? Then I began to think; what lay after death? In other words, what would i be if I go through death? I believe that my earthly life ended at that moment and just at that moment I heard a voice said to me in Chinese, “My blood has cleansed your sin.”

These words were powerful, as they were spoken out, taking away the heavy thing in my heart. It was Jesus. I immediately knew it. I was lying there and let tears come out of my eyes. It was like my inner tap was broken and water rushed out. Jesus surrounded me with His love. I knew that He understood me and loves me more than my parents. He knew my inner struggle. I knew I had Jesus and in this life I was totally satisfied, even though I had nothing else.

I wanted to say something to Jesus although I couldn’t see Him but I knew He was there. I didn’t know what to say. After all, this was my first time to speak to Jesus. So I jumped down from my bed, finding out a brochure named “Why You Should Believe in Jesus”. A paragraph jumped into my eyes and I just wanted to read it out to Jesus. Later on I found it was a prayer that one should pray to Jesus for the first time:

“Jesus I need you…thank you for dying for me and for my sins. I give my life to you. Be my Lord and Savior. Guide me in all my life till I see your face. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen. ”
The next day was a brand new day. For the first time I found the sky was so blue, the flowers were fragrant, the birds were singing and the grass was so green. Everything God made for He loved us.
Then I began to read my spiritual books. The first book I took was titled “Fasting is the Most Efficient Prayer”. After reading it in the morning, I decided to have three days fasting and that began my Christian life.

--to be continued

China Theological Education: Current Situation and Future Prospects

From June 15 to June 20 all HBI teachers thought through China’s theological education situation in Lutheran Theological Seminary of Hong Kong with other two China’s seminaries: Middle South Seminary and Jiangxi Bible School. We also visited and learned from 5 other Hong Kong seminaries. This article is the result of this meaningful study journey.

To understand China’s theological education, you must first identify the stage that it is at. If we take a seminary as a factory, we can say that China’s seminaries are at the stage of family workshop. Principal is the head of every department. He names himself the highest authority. He can anytime step into any department’s territory and address his opinion as well as make decision. He is busy to move this project and that project, without him, departments couldn’t find their directions, without him the whole system will paralyze. He is the founder, the speaker and his authority can’t be offended, even in the areas he is not professional. Unlike a modern enterprise, at this stage, China’s seminary first need to find out their own mission (every seminary should have their own mission instead of one mission for everyone. China’s Christian Council wrote one mission for all the seminaries of China many years ago, it was not a practical thing), then each department’s mission. This can’t just learn from overseas seminaries. Each seminary needs experiences and to work out their own mission. Neither can the mission come out from a smart head; instead, it needs years of practice in theological education.

Now we come to the principal’s role. China’s seminary principal’s main working pressure is at fundraising area. Nanjing Theological Union Seminary didn’t need fundraising before, but after building up a glorious new school, she put herself under the same pressure of every other seminary principal. But at this stage, if the principal gives all his energy on fundraising, and don’t give nourishment to his staff and teachers, he will be just like a boss. He gives order from outside, but can’t move teachers from their inside. This is a bad thing because the principal can’t integrate teachers influence on the students. Even on the fundraising area, they sometimes pay too much attention to overseas churches instead of looking to domestic resources. They forget to share their vision with local churches. In the long run, we will find this is not wise. On the stage we mentioned first, a bossy principal can’t do theological education. Teachers can’t do it either if they do not have close fellowship.

Another area is students’ field work. Most China seminaries just need to see students serving in a church, and then everything is ok. But more detailed work need to be done to make the field work meaningful for the students. China Seminaries should know very well of the churches and the leaders, so that they can ask churches give good instruction to the students; they also should set a theme for the students as their observation goal each semester, so that students will know what to learn step by step; they should listen to church leaders of their suggestion on theological education. All these detailed things and efforts will make student’s field work totally different.

18 seminaries in China can’t meet the numbers of increasing believers’ needs, but they should try to meet more church needs. Except for full time training, they can cooperate with prefecture level training class, sending teachers to support and integrate different levels’ theological training. Seminaries can develop correspondence course for students who have to stay at home.

Nowadays, seminary students are younger and younger. Some of them do no have clear calling from God. The procedure of enrollment of new students is one thing to be reconsidered. Aptitude test is a good method through which we can know how to give instruction to a student in his study and growth in school. But no seminary in China has begun to use it. Seminary should dig more local resources and try to cooperate with professional organizations in students’ guidance.

Some China seminaries would get their graduates informed of the seminary’s news, but none has done graduates’ superintend and guide.

Most China seminaries need to electronize their library so that the books can be used more and can support teachers’ teaching as well as students’ study.

The most heartily touched problem of China’s seminaries is the shortage of mission training: no short time mission practice, no discipleship training, no mission course, no training of how to efficiently explain the gospel, etc. Students do not have chance to face unsaved souls. They only face believers. Teachers only face seminary students---very good believers. The passion for unsaved souls is obviously low. What the meaning of theological education is then, we should ask. The shortage of mission really touched the theological education’s core. It is a sad thing. We hope in the near future, more and more China seminary can become missionary training center for local churches.

Her birthday was June 1st.

Her name was Shuishui. It means "water-water". Her birthday was on June 1, as all the kids in the orphanage.
I started an orphanage ministry with another sister in our local church. I remember the cold winter Saturday afternoon we first went into the orphanage. We were allowed to visit one part which was for abnormal kids. A little girl came up to me and took my hand. She was Binbin. She had such shinning smile and bright face, that no one could tell she was from orphanage. People said she looked like me. I finally fostered her. When I went to work, I put her in a kindergarten. When I came back, I took her from the kindergarten and we ate supper together. I cooked for her and she would always praise what yummy food! I taught her several Chinese characters each night and gave her a lot of applaud. She learned fast. We together watched cartoons or children’s programs. She had brain paralysis and for this reason she couldn’t be adopted. Deep in my heart I thought this girl deserved better life. I put my hand on her head and prayed for God’s healing before she went to bed. We lived together for 3 months. God healed her. She soon left me and was adopted by a Spanish family.
Shuishui was the opposite. She seldom smiled. Her face was full of fear. Her eyes seldom were without tears. She cried when she ought to have walked by herself but couldn’t. She cried when she suddenly heard a loud voice. And once she began to cry, it seemed she could never stop. “See, she cries again! Just like her name, a lot of water.”
One day Binbin told me,
“Shuishui died.”
“Was she sick, you mean?” I didn’t think she, three years old, had right concept of death. That night, as Binbin watched Animal World, she suddenly said,
“Baby elephant died.”
“What?!”
I was immediately aware that Binbin knew what death was. So Shuishui truly died!
“How did Shuishui die?”
“Mrs. Lei beat her, using her shoe.”
“Did you see it?”
“No. Wenyan told me.” Wenyan was a 12-year-old girl in the orphanage.
Binbin’s answer finished my ministry in that orphanage. I also soon moved to another city.
Today is the first of June, I think of Shuishui:
When she was born, she ought to have felt the warmth of her parents’ arms, but the coldness of the ground---she was found abandoned.
She had a big head, abnormal. She should have received more love than a normal baby because she needed more care.
More than ten kids shared one “mommy” in her “sweet home”. Her life was put to “mummy”----Mrs. Lei. She died under her shoe.
She should have some happy days if she had stronger character. But this world was full of difficulties for her. Her tears didn’t bring enough comfort.
The next morning she died, she was wrapped in matting by a stranger. Blood stain could be seen on the matting.
When she was buried, no friend of her was at the side. She had no grave, buried to an unknown place. No one would go anywhere to memorize her.
She was beaten to death. But who, would cry for her and who, would bring the killer to the court?
I can only make a grave for Shuishui in my heart. Every year I will come here, Shuishui! To memorize you. I hope you have already flied to the purest and joyful place! And the tears you shed would become a pair of glittering and translucent wings for you, bringing you to wherever you desire to go. I hope you have many family members there who live with you and love you a lot. I didn’t do much for you, I am sorry. I noticed your tearing eyes, but I just liked everyone else, walked away from you. I didn’t get you out as I did for Binbin. I didn’t think too much. I was stupid I didn’t know you could leave me so quick! Shuishui, but if you could, please forgive me, forgive this cruel world. You are in my heart forever…

An Educator's Dream

"This is an absolutely undemocratic situation you face. You have no rights here. Your only right is to come to class and be wonderful. You can’t protest, you can’t be absent, you can only work…You must give your entire self in an act of faith. If you have any sort of resentment or lack of clarity, you will find heartbreak. But if you manage to live through four years of this demand upon your inner self, your life will be literally changed."

This speech was not given in our school, actually I and my students----two girls----in Theological English class read it from our study material: "Becoming a Woman of Excellence". It was spoken by Lydia Joel, the head of the Performing Arts dance department in New York City in 1982. It was under the topic of Surrender.

I was shocked when I first read this paragraph and almost wished I were one of the students there in that school.
What was that in this speech captured me? I kept thinking. Maybe they were educators' strong self confidence, school's high standard, students facing big challenges and satisfactory reward? Maybe it was just the way Lydia spoke? Maybe just because I always liked high challenges? But anyway, I began to think one question: what is my dream as an educator?

I dream to find truth together with my students. We listen to each other and appreciate contributions each of us makes in our different ways.

I dream to share inner feelings with my students not only the thoughts from our mind. We find comfort, compassion, support and union from the deepest level of our hearts.

I dream to serve people in need together with my students. While our hearts are warmed up in class, our hands can convey the temperature expressing the care of our inner sensitive beings to this world.

I dream the time stayed together with my students will be like pure gold, its color does not fade away as time goes by.

I dream my students full of patience to their children and they take time to play with them, knowing being together means everything for children.

I dream my students' faces shine upon my way as I am searching to serve them better, and their faces can still greatly move me as one day I am old, so old that I am on the wheelchair.

I dream I had a film which has taken all the interesting and meaningful moments of I and my students. So that after I go to heaven I could take my time and enjoy this film with my Lord.

I dream by the end of the film, there is a big picture: the image of the first born Son, Jesus Christ.

Graduation Tour-4