How I came to the Lord

I was born in a family of intellectuals. Both my father and my mother graduated from universities. My father worked in a medical college which later became a part of the local university. I grew up in an atmosphere which put study in a high position.

Beside study, my family has another tradition: sports. We had a homemade Ping-Pong table. My father kept every year’s short-distance race champion among all the teachers and professors of his college. They had a husband-and-wife 100 meter relay race. No matter how far my mother fell behind, my father could catch up and finally got champion. My mother is good at volleyball and so am I. I was both Women’s Volleyball Team member and Women’s Basketball Team member in university. My brother played basketball every afternoon with his fellows and their court was called “Colosseum”, for he and his fellows are the best basketball players in the city and their game is always white-hot. My brother had three times got his leg fractured in a basketball match. Each time he had to lie in the bed for several days and his friends keep coming to visit him.

I went directly into Hunan University without the entrance examination. This was very unusual; a big university with thousands of students did not have more than 10 students that were allowed to enter University without an entrance exam. It was a reward for my excellent performance both in study and sports in high school. I chose the major of Highway and Bridges Design in Civil Engineering. But this was the beginning of my hardship. I was an idiot in mechanics. Hydromechanics, structural mechanics, soil mechanics and elastic mechanics made me despair. I began to have inner pain from the struggle of trying to be the best. I failed and I couldn’t face it. Neither did I know how to change my unlucky fate.

A friend of mine came to the Lord and he shared the gospel with me. He gave me his testimony and brought me to different Christian fellowships. I kept arguing with those Christians. I had no god in my heart. If I had, that might have been my father and mother. I began to read some little gospel brochures, the ones with interesting pictures and a few words. Finally I got to know that Christians thought there was a God who loved them and this God became Jesus, who died for all human being’s sin on the cross.
“For He so loved the world”, I read one day, then I though in my heart, if there was really a God and He loved me, He should come to look for me, for I didn’t know where to find Him.

Then this God came to look for me. On August 17, 1994, that night I was sleeping in my bed in my dorm of Hunan University thinking through my life: I even have no goal, everybody goes to tomb; no standard of being a good person; success couldn’t make up the wrong thing I have done. I recognized I had done a lot of wrong things! I felt my heart was heavy. I wanted to have a new start, but how? I knew my life was burning and one day it would come an end, but for what purpose? Then I began to think; what lay after death? In other words, what would i be if I go through death? I believe that my earthly life ended at that moment and just at that moment I heard a voice said to me in Chinese, “My blood has cleansed your sin.”

These words were powerful, as they were spoken out, taking away the heavy thing in my heart. It was Jesus. I immediately knew it. I was lying there and let tears come out of my eyes. It was like my inner tap was broken and water rushed out. Jesus surrounded me with His love. I knew that He understood me and loves me more than my parents. He knew my inner struggle. I knew I had Jesus and in this life I was totally satisfied, even though I had nothing else.

I wanted to say something to Jesus although I couldn’t see Him but I knew He was there. I didn’t know what to say. After all, this was my first time to speak to Jesus. So I jumped down from my bed, finding out a brochure named “Why You Should Believe in Jesus”. A paragraph jumped into my eyes and I just wanted to read it out to Jesus. Later on I found it was a prayer that one should pray to Jesus for the first time:

“Jesus I need you…thank you for dying for me and for my sins. I give my life to you. Be my Lord and Savior. Guide me in all my life till I see your face. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen. ”
The next day was a brand new day. For the first time I found the sky was so blue, the flowers were fragrant, the birds were singing and the grass was so green. Everything God made for He loved us.
Then I began to read my spiritual books. The first book I took was titled “Fasting is the Most Efficient Prayer”. After reading it in the morning, I decided to have three days fasting and that began my Christian life.

--to be continued

China Theological Education: Current Situation and Future Prospects

From June 15 to June 20 all HBI teachers thought through China’s theological education situation in Lutheran Theological Seminary of Hong Kong with other two China’s seminaries: Middle South Seminary and Jiangxi Bible School. We also visited and learned from 5 other Hong Kong seminaries. This article is the result of this meaningful study journey.

To understand China’s theological education, you must first identify the stage that it is at. If we take a seminary as a factory, we can say that China’s seminaries are at the stage of family workshop. Principal is the head of every department. He names himself the highest authority. He can anytime step into any department’s territory and address his opinion as well as make decision. He is busy to move this project and that project, without him, departments couldn’t find their directions, without him the whole system will paralyze. He is the founder, the speaker and his authority can’t be offended, even in the areas he is not professional. Unlike a modern enterprise, at this stage, China’s seminary first need to find out their own mission (every seminary should have their own mission instead of one mission for everyone. China’s Christian Council wrote one mission for all the seminaries of China many years ago, it was not a practical thing), then each department’s mission. This can’t just learn from overseas seminaries. Each seminary needs experiences and to work out their own mission. Neither can the mission come out from a smart head; instead, it needs years of practice in theological education.

Now we come to the principal’s role. China’s seminary principal’s main working pressure is at fundraising area. Nanjing Theological Union Seminary didn’t need fundraising before, but after building up a glorious new school, she put herself under the same pressure of every other seminary principal. But at this stage, if the principal gives all his energy on fundraising, and don’t give nourishment to his staff and teachers, he will be just like a boss. He gives order from outside, but can’t move teachers from their inside. This is a bad thing because the principal can’t integrate teachers influence on the students. Even on the fundraising area, they sometimes pay too much attention to overseas churches instead of looking to domestic resources. They forget to share their vision with local churches. In the long run, we will find this is not wise. On the stage we mentioned first, a bossy principal can’t do theological education. Teachers can’t do it either if they do not have close fellowship.

Another area is students’ field work. Most China seminaries just need to see students serving in a church, and then everything is ok. But more detailed work need to be done to make the field work meaningful for the students. China Seminaries should know very well of the churches and the leaders, so that they can ask churches give good instruction to the students; they also should set a theme for the students as their observation goal each semester, so that students will know what to learn step by step; they should listen to church leaders of their suggestion on theological education. All these detailed things and efforts will make student’s field work totally different.

18 seminaries in China can’t meet the numbers of increasing believers’ needs, but they should try to meet more church needs. Except for full time training, they can cooperate with prefecture level training class, sending teachers to support and integrate different levels’ theological training. Seminaries can develop correspondence course for students who have to stay at home.

Nowadays, seminary students are younger and younger. Some of them do no have clear calling from God. The procedure of enrollment of new students is one thing to be reconsidered. Aptitude test is a good method through which we can know how to give instruction to a student in his study and growth in school. But no seminary in China has begun to use it. Seminary should dig more local resources and try to cooperate with professional organizations in students’ guidance.

Some China seminaries would get their graduates informed of the seminary’s news, but none has done graduates’ superintend and guide.

Most China seminaries need to electronize their library so that the books can be used more and can support teachers’ teaching as well as students’ study.

The most heartily touched problem of China’s seminaries is the shortage of mission training: no short time mission practice, no discipleship training, no mission course, no training of how to efficiently explain the gospel, etc. Students do not have chance to face unsaved souls. They only face believers. Teachers only face seminary students---very good believers. The passion for unsaved souls is obviously low. What the meaning of theological education is then, we should ask. The shortage of mission really touched the theological education’s core. It is a sad thing. We hope in the near future, more and more China seminary can become missionary training center for local churches.

Her birthday was June 1st.

Her name was Shuishui. It means "water-water". Her birthday was on June 1, as all the kids in the orphanage.
I started an orphanage ministry with another sister in our local church. I remember the cold winter Saturday afternoon we first went into the orphanage. We were allowed to visit one part which was for abnormal kids. A little girl came up to me and took my hand. She was Binbin. She had such shinning smile and bright face, that no one could tell she was from orphanage. People said she looked like me. I finally fostered her. When I went to work, I put her in a kindergarten. When I came back, I took her from the kindergarten and we ate supper together. I cooked for her and she would always praise what yummy food! I taught her several Chinese characters each night and gave her a lot of applaud. She learned fast. We together watched cartoons or children’s programs. She had brain paralysis and for this reason she couldn’t be adopted. Deep in my heart I thought this girl deserved better life. I put my hand on her head and prayed for God’s healing before she went to bed. We lived together for 3 months. God healed her. She soon left me and was adopted by a Spanish family.
Shuishui was the opposite. She seldom smiled. Her face was full of fear. Her eyes seldom were without tears. She cried when she ought to have walked by herself but couldn’t. She cried when she suddenly heard a loud voice. And once she began to cry, it seemed she could never stop. “See, she cries again! Just like her name, a lot of water.”
One day Binbin told me,
“Shuishui died.”
“Was she sick, you mean?” I didn’t think she, three years old, had right concept of death. That night, as Binbin watched Animal World, she suddenly said,
“Baby elephant died.”
“What?!”
I was immediately aware that Binbin knew what death was. So Shuishui truly died!
“How did Shuishui die?”
“Mrs. Lei beat her, using her shoe.”
“Did you see it?”
“No. Wenyan told me.” Wenyan was a 12-year-old girl in the orphanage.
Binbin’s answer finished my ministry in that orphanage. I also soon moved to another city.
Today is the first of June, I think of Shuishui:
When she was born, she ought to have felt the warmth of her parents’ arms, but the coldness of the ground---she was found abandoned.
She had a big head, abnormal. She should have received more love than a normal baby because she needed more care.
More than ten kids shared one “mommy” in her “sweet home”. Her life was put to “mummy”----Mrs. Lei. She died under her shoe.
She should have some happy days if she had stronger character. But this world was full of difficulties for her. Her tears didn’t bring enough comfort.
The next morning she died, she was wrapped in matting by a stranger. Blood stain could be seen on the matting.
When she was buried, no friend of her was at the side. She had no grave, buried to an unknown place. No one would go anywhere to memorize her.
She was beaten to death. But who, would cry for her and who, would bring the killer to the court?
I can only make a grave for Shuishui in my heart. Every year I will come here, Shuishui! To memorize you. I hope you have already flied to the purest and joyful place! And the tears you shed would become a pair of glittering and translucent wings for you, bringing you to wherever you desire to go. I hope you have many family members there who live with you and love you a lot. I didn’t do much for you, I am sorry. I noticed your tearing eyes, but I just liked everyone else, walked away from you. I didn’t get you out as I did for Binbin. I didn’t think too much. I was stupid I didn’t know you could leave me so quick! Shuishui, but if you could, please forgive me, forgive this cruel world. You are in my heart forever…