Thursday, December 11, 2008

An old man's heart




"10.25, 2.16 by Lunar Calendar. Never ever forget."

My brother text me the short message, reminding me those two crucial dates: the first one is my father's birthday and the second, my mother's.

The day before was my father's 66th birthday. And I made a terrible mistake--didn't give him a call. Immediately I called my father’s cell phone wanted to say a late "Happy Birthday", but he would not answer it. I didn't know what happened until I called my parent's home that night. My mother answered phone,
"He waited for your call that whole day, morning and afternoon" she said "In the evening I saw he became very unhappy. You would not know how much he wished to receive your call and knew you still remembered his birthday!" The worst thing happened. My father's heart was hurt, by me. "I might remind you his birthday that day, but I thought, better let him face the truth. You forgot this time, but won't next time, even won't forever." My Mom, I could never be as cool in the way she was. Anyway, I had to face my own mistake.
"Mom, tell you a good news! I decided to go home tomorrow morning, bringing Haozi (my three-month old baby) with me. Dad hasn’t seen Haozi, right?" I made this decision right away. "Please have Dad listen to the phone."I asked excitedly believing my Dad would also be very happy of my decision, as I heard my mother calling my farther.
"He is in bed ready to sleep; He says he has nothing to say to you... And ...he says if you come home, he will go to visit his friend in another city. He says... you have no need to come back on New Year holidays either." (My husband and I had planned to visit my parents in January 1-3.) I was there listening and feeling my heart turned colder and colder. My farther has successfully extended his feeling of hurt onto me. Fortunately I had good friends around me at that moment; we were eating a late super in a restaurant together. I told them what happened. They wisely suggested me, "Just go. Your farther sent you a very strong message--he wants to see you and Haozi as soon as possible."

I went and spent Thanksgiving Day with my parents the next day.

My farther had long face in the first half hour. Then he turned happier and happier. He had I and my brother invite him eating outside that night to make up his birthday celebration, but he paid for the meal. He enjoyed being with Haozi, my son. He carried him around the house and took pictures of him.

Recently my uncle got cancer and actually my father spent his birthday morning with him. He felt that the most important thing in his life was the relationship with his family members; he would not lose any of it.
On my way back, my heart was not lighter...my father is old, how could I take good care of him, putting him under my wings just as he took me under his wings when I was a child?
Did you call your parents on their birthdays?

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